How to Embrace Resistance
When you experience resistance, what does it feel like?
And how do you recognise when you have it?!
Resistance actually goes by a few different names.
You might also know her as — procrastination, avoidance, distraction, self-doubt, deer-in-headlights syndrome, analysis paralysis and the mother of all resistance — fear.
Whatever you call her, and however she comes about, she stops you in your tracks and prevents you from taking particular steps that’ll get you closer to your goal.
NOTE — She is not to be confused with your Instinct or Intuitive Resistance, who uses gentle nudges to communicate with you. This intuitive part of you stops you from moving in a particular direction because the path that you’re on isn’t ‘right’, or because the timing is off.
The Resistance I’m talking about today is a part of you that – for reasons as yet unknown – stops you from getting important tasks done in your business – tasks that get you closer to the goals that YOU ACTUALLY WANT!
These reasons are unconscious — which means that you are not yet aware of them. Or maybe you have a small clue about the reasons underneath your resistance, but you haven’t yet looked at the situation closely enough to really get a handle on it
The most you know right now, is that you’re on your way to destination X, but internal circumstances (i.e. resistance!) is conspiring to keep you from reaching it.
Her intentions are good – most likely she wants to keep you safe in the only way she knows how to – but her agenda is not the same as yours, which means that her (unconscious) agenda is out of alignment with the (conscious) goals that you’ve set for yourself
And this is where the conflict happens – this is where your inner resistance bumps up against the tasks and goals that you’ve set for yourself.
So what do you do? How do you navigate this road block?
You know that:
- trying to push through it isn’t effective
- berating yourself for not doing better only makes you feel worse about yourself
- and motivating yourself with inspiring quotes and mantras *can help* but, on their own, these positive reminders don’t guarantee success (i.e. a clear and open road to what you want.)
Here’s one simple exercise that will:
- increase your self-awareness
- and help you to tune in and listen to yourself
- to uncover what is going on underneath the resistance.
When you notice Resistance getting in your way, sit down and
*Write A Letter To Your Resistance!*
Why? Because this is going to create a ‘bridge’ between the conscious and unconscious part of your mind and help you discover a little more of what’s going on in your inner world and how or why it’s affecting your outer reality.
Step 1: Find a quite place where you can sit and write undisturbed for at least the next 5 to 10 minutes.
Step 2: Take a few moments to close your eyes, breath, tune in …
*Feel* where the resistance is located in your body.
If you don’t feel any bodily sensations – that’s ok.
You can also try tapping into a memory, for example:
- When was the last time you remember experiencing resistance?
- When was the last time that you procrastinated or avoided an item on your To Do list.
- When have you distracted yourself with social media, food or cups of tea
Step 3: Write a letter to your Resistance AND lead with curiosity and compassion.
Imagine that Resistance is a friend that you haven’t spoken to in awhile. What do you want to tell her? What is important for you to express?
NOTE – I’ve been using the pronoun ‘she’ in this email, but your Resistance may very well be a ‘he’ or gender neutral.
The idea behind this exercise is to use your imagination and personify Resistance — to treat her/him as a person and write her/him a letter.
As mentioned earlier, the purpose of this is to facilitate a conversation between the conscious (aware) and unconscious (unaware) parts of your mind.
Will this clear up your Resistance and give you forward momentum to reach your goals?
Yes! … and No! What this process does is to:
- increase your SELF AWARENESS
- which leads to greater CHOICE
- and gives you A WAY IN TO CHANGING the automatic habits and patterns that don’t serve you.
Whichever path you take is still your CHOICE.
Self discovery is a journey and it’s all about engaging with life, looking more deeply at yourself, peeling back the layers, shedding light on what’s there and, ultimately, deciding what you want to do with your new knowledge and awareness.
On this note — grab your pen — or schedule a time in your diary NOW to sit down and having a writing session with yourself.
You can start by writing: Dear Resistance…….