How Lucy Overcame Her Fear
Of Being Visible
Lucy is a Marketing Specialist with over 10 years of experience in the field. She loved her 9-5 job, working in a small company with a supportive team and a boss that praised her skills.
For the last months however, her anxiety levels were going through the roof whenever she sat down to do her work. These episodes became so extreme that they turned into panic attacks which lead her to quit her job. Lucy saw this as an opportunity to actualise her dream of starting her own marketing business alongside opening a yoga studio BUT the anxiety that caused her to quit her job followed her.
Feeling “Not Good Enough” & Struggling with Self Promotion
Lucy described feeling “not good enough”, feeling fearful that what she has to offer won’t resonate with others, and insecurity that she didn’t have enough experience or knowledge.
Despite her years of experience in marketing, when it came to her own business she struggled with promoting herself and sharing her ideas:
“I have a website and I’ve written plenty of content for others, but when I write my own blog posts I feel like I don’t have anything unique to say, or that someone else is already saying this just in a better way. My negative thoughts keep rising to the surface and I get stuck.”
Although excited about the prospect to start her own business, she was still questioning:
“Can I really do this?”
“If I felt that I wasn’t good enough in my job doing this work, then what makes me think that I could do it on my own.”
She shared that:
“If I had a friend come to me with these concerns, I’d tell her it’s all rubbish, but when it comes to myself, I just don’t buy it.”
When I asked her what she wanted to experience during our session for it to feel like it was a success, Lucy said:
“I want to figure out whats really holding me back and what I can do daily to make lasting change.”
What Lucy’s Unconscious Had To Say About All This
We connected with the energy that was causing Lucy’s anxiety, and through a series of questions uncovered a memory from elementary school where, during an art project, Lucy used a purple crayon to colour in a sunflower. Lucy recalled her teacher getting angry and telling her that sunflowers weren’t supposed to be purple.
This experience had a profound effect on Lucy, who felt that she’d done something ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’.
In that moment Lucy’s eight year old self internalised the message she needed the approval of others to succeed and that there was a ‘correct’ way to do things.
Lucy carried this message unconsciously into adulthood, and her mind worked to protect her by injecting a bit of fear in certain situations to remind her that she was supposed to do things a certain way. In this way she would be protected from others’ getting angry or reacting negatively. This may have worked well for her 8 year old self, but it was not serving the adult version of Lucy well.
This is also how Lucy’s confidence and creativity got stifled, because you can’t truly be free when you’re censoring yourself and worrying about what others think of you.
It also came to light, that this protective energy was behind Lucy quitting her job — causing Lucy anxiety was it’s way of keeping her safe from standing out and being noticed. She was becoming more confident in her work and getting more responsibility and so there was a higher risk of negative consequences if her boss didn’t like her work.
Lucy’s Big Take-Away And Action Plan
During this session Lucy was able to connect the dots and recognise that her unconscious drive to keep herself safe from criticism and the risks associated with ‘standing out from the crowd’, were in conflict with her conscious desire to step out into the world, to make a difference and be seen.
With this new knowledge, we were able to make a plan for how she could connect with this energy and align both her unconscious and conscious needs — to allow her to be creative and to stand out as well as to feel safe.
*Lucy’s name and other identifying details have been changed to protect her privacy